The glass that was half full...

is now half empty. I tried putting on a smile and acting like nothing in my life was wrong. That didn't work out too well for me. For some apparent reason, I deserve to be treated like shit? "Why don't you just move out then", "You don't like it, then leave!" "Aren't you old enough to be out on your own?" "You're so selfish". I hate growing up. It gets worse and worse, the older you get. I love how I am the issue. Not the fact that we have to move and have no money, but me still living at home, has become the issue? Maybe I should look into colleges away from here. I feel like no one cares, either way. It sucks. I spent 48 hours looking for places to live and driving around and now I get treated like this. It's wonderful and well deserved. I am selfish because I don't want to sleep on the top of a bunk bed and because I would prefer to live in a place where I can park my car outside of our house not a mile down the street. What 19 year-old would like that? Find one, and get back to me.

For anyone who cares...

Friday was the day from hell. I woke up late, my appointment was at 10:15 in Santa Ana. My gas light went on right when I got on the free way. I pulled off by the Orange Mall and flew down the 55. Then I got lost. I cried. I thought I was going to lose my appointment and broke down. Directions are sooo not my thing. Turn east, turn west, and proceed o.7 miles, mean nothing to me. How about, what restaurants are close to it or are any stores next to it? I am a landmark kind of navigator. I finally found the office, which by the way was very ghetto. I was told I had pityriasis rosea. It is caused by a virus, no one really knows how you get it. It's not contagious or anything (I'm not a leper). But has been the reason I was miserable for 2 months. Starts with one little bump and spreads like crazy. I self- diagnosed myself through WebMD. That shows how much time I spent on the internet trying to figure out what the hell it was. From now on, I'm just going to call a dermatologist right away and not dink around with my retarded regular doctor. He hasn't a clue of anything. Lesson learned.

Dermatologist?

3 weeks with this horrible chicken pox- like rash. First, I had one weird raised bump, then like 10, then a crazy, full blown rash. It's really sexy, ask my boyfriend. Ha, not. I already had the chicken pox when I was 6. Haven't I suffered enough? I have been poppin' Benadryl like a maniac (I think my body is now immune to it). I have lost so much sleep and have taken more oatmeal baths than anyone should ever have to take. I FINALLY ( after 2 visits to my regular doctor, 2 prescriptions later...) have an appointment tomorrow. I hope he knows what is wrong with me, because I have not an ounce of patience left in me. I thought I had spider/mosquito bites, bed bugs, flea bites (However, Bugman thought I was crazy) ? I think now it might be an allergy or a virus. Cross your fingers for me please. I'll love you forever.

Love,
Hypochondriac Erin

The Catcher in the Rye

was the best book ever made, hands down. Holden Caulfield is my favorite literary character. I think we would have been best friends. We both are pessimists and hate phonies. Speaking of phonies, I haaaaaaate when people say they miss you. If you really missed me, you'd make time to see me or talk to me. Don't text me out of the blue and say you miss me. It just pisses me off.

so itchy

Rash, go away. You're unbearable and unattractive.

I am going to stop being a debbie downer

,or I am going to TRY and stop. The glass is half full :)

Is this real life?

Where are we supposed to live... with two yellow labs, a cat, a snake, and 5 people, for a rent controlled house in Yorba Linda? That is the biggest joke ever. Economy you are a bitch.

ughhhh

I have never been so mad at myself. Why did I quit so early. I could have kept up with that math class. I could have hired a tutor, I could have done something. Now, I have to stay another year at SCC. ughhh ughhhhhhhhhhh. I worked my ass and it wasn't enough. London, you better come faster because, I don't think I can make it.

Summer

Officially starts tomorrow at 1:15. I am thrilled. No more essays, tests, or homework. The beach is going to be my home. I am going to be BLACK with RED HAIR, you just wait. I am so thankful that school is done. I really need this break.

Why am soo lame? Every summer break, I think of The Goofy Movie song, "After Today".